By Jonah Baker
THE VATICAN Catholics and art lovers everywhere were horrified to learn that Trump attempted to repaint the Sistine Chapel to promote his brand, with himself replacing God. FFN has exclusive photos of the artists mockups that almost were irrevocably placed on the ceiling. Trump also ate pizza in the Vatican library and was playing, “Pin the Hat on the Pope Head,” on the Holy of Holies, where the blood of Jesus now has been mixed with A-1 Steak Sauce.
Trump’s Gameshow, entitled “Wheel of Blame,” explains his policies in a way anyone can understand. As God, Trump seems free to blame whomever he pleases. The Pope responded, “I serve God. I know God a little. Mr. President, you are not God.”
The artist, however, had another draft of the painting which was even more evocative, offering a glimpse into Trump’s dark psyche. The Pope hinted this version might get placed in the Vatican latrines. “I hear you are working on a version without Trump. That might be better,” the Pope said. See if you can name all the people pictured!
