Republicans broke new ground by suggesting that Republican Congressman-To-Be Greg Gianforte apologize for body slamming a reporter the night before elections. The Guardian Reporter, Ben Jacobs, a Jewish reporter who simply asked about GOP healthcare policy.
Sporting his new “alt-right vintage” Brown Shirt circa 1938, Gianforte reluctantly agreed to give a half-assed apology. “I apologize for being in the limelight. My future crimes will be in the darkness and you hopefully will never hear about them, even if they are being perpetrated on you or your neighbors, your grandmother or children in some foreign land.”
The Republican’s Brown Collar Crime report is due soon, in which they will categorize, reward, and celebrate various alt-fascist crimes such as beating up reporters, inciting violence at rallies, denouncing the free press, degrading women/minorities/LGTBQ community/immigrants/Muslims/etc… Rewards will include the coveted Brown Laundry award, for making Brown Shirts, covered in the blood of innocents, to appear clean; for making money made from bombing civilians and nefarious oil/weapons deal appear clean; and for making criminal candidates appear “clean” with a reluctant understated apology.
