by Jonah Baker
GOLF COURSE, NEW JERSEY. President D. Trump has given himself a record 98% approval rating today, perhaps saving his administration from sliding into the trash heap.
“My self-Approval rating is biggest 98% of any Leader. Stalin had lower numbers when he was this high. Any people rate me low — go back to Fake History School. George W. Lincoln fought for WHITE House.”
It was unclear at press time if the President was referring to his golf game, which has become a policy focus of late, or to his skills in diplomacy and domestic policy.
