by JONAH BAKER March 27, 2017
Controversy erupted today over a Fox News report that Trump had worked the weekend at the White House, when in fact he had been at a Virginia Golf Course twice. FFN was able to check this out directly with our first White House exclusive: an invitation to a Trump/Pence sleepover!
“We’re Weekend Workers!” said Trump and Pence, excited to have the run of the whole White House, all the electronics, the stereo system, secret service guys if another body was needed for laser tag, and the wide scream televisions. There were sleepover games. Truth or dare, but no one was daring anyone to do anything positive for the American people. With 132 rooms, 35 bathrooms, and 6 levels, 8 staircases, and 3 elevators, the games of hide and go seek were absolutely epic. The medical legos helped with visualizing Repeal 2.0. “Practice with legos. Have all medical sets. Watch out congress. Here comes best Trumpcare yet. Vroom, vroom! I was surgeon, Pence patient. Much learned.”
The game of darts did some damage to historic paintings and they ate too many Cheetos, but had no regrets. “We work on weekends. Fox News all night long. Watch whole world, thousands of cable channels, pay per view, secret spy stuff. Totally awesome. Obama not invited.”
