by JONAH BAKER 4/1/2017
FERGUSON, Missouri — At a screening of Get Out, Tomi Lahren allegedly followed former San Fransisco 49er Quarterback Colin Kaepernick into the movie theater and sat next to him. She had paid the theater to rig their sound system to a wireless microphone and proceeded to sing to him her own version of the National Anthem.
“When I was fired from the Blaze for saying the government should ‘Get out of my body,‘ I had to see this movie. I watched it with girlfriends, and I was like, wow, there’s good money in addressing people who are against racism. I wrote my version of the National Anthem to prove I’m for real,” Tomi said in a job application for NPR. “I can be a liberal, whatever. I’ll say anything if you pay me.”
Tomi had previously made a rant against Kaepernick for his kneeling during the National Anthem, which he made as a statement in support of Black Lives Matter.
She stopped short of a full endorsement of Black Lives Matter, blaming a non-compete contract she had signed with the KKK. “I can’t just switch, that would be like a pop tart having the filling on the outside. I’m a good person, inside my brain. But this documentary has cool ideas, personally and surgically.”
Colin stoically watched the film, did not kneel or make any reaction to her singing, and made no comment, but did continue giving money to fight oppression through his charitable work.
My National Anthem by Tomi Lahren Oh say can you see By the media's light, I've been falsely assailed As so white that I'm gleaming. Real blonde stripes, I'm a star, Republican and pro-choice, More than Ellen, I've been watched, whether taped or live streaming. But Tiger Woods -- a teddy bear, Dennis Rodman's nappy hair, give proof that I would walk through your neighborhood. Oh say, don't blame me for my white supremacy, Hire me on daytime TV, I rhyme like Run-DMC.
